in • som • ni • a - noun - difficulty in falling or staying asleep; sleeplessness
sample: the long-haired sonofabitch next door is giving me insomnia.
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the last few weeks i have been struck by a relatively new obsessive compulsive tendency and it is this: not trouble falling asleep, but waking with a single, unexplainable purpose; a manifestation of psyche that slowly and continuously gains momentum while my body is at rest.
this would be a good thing if these subconscious jolts had some rhyme or reason, but often they don't. they are random, odd and sometimes maddening.
examples?
3:58 a.m., tuesday, july 8 - must cut hair. must shave head. after months of keeping my growing locks in check, i hit my breaking point and realize i was not meant for long hair. it may make other people look like rock stars, but it only makes me look homeless. and not in a cool, hippie, indie artist working at starbucks kind of way, but in a smelly, unemployed, mentally unstable kind of way. i have been thinking about cutting it off for weeks, and wake on this day with the thought freshly branded in my brain. so fresh it's still searing. it can not wait. with my roommate out of town, i grab the clippers and go to work. an hour later, after all the excess has been swept away and removed, i spend some time getting acquainted with my short-haired reflection. 'hello generic haircut guy,' i say, mocking my unremarkable new crop. 'you look like a republican... have you praised jesus today?... would you like some may-o-naise?... the neil diamond records are over there.' i stop my charade when i realize just how fat my face is completely exposed without my unruly mane. this may have been a mistake. this may have been a big mistake.
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1623, anglicized as insomnie. latin. from in 'not'; and somnus 'sleep'
sample: how can you 'somnus' when there are pancakes on the griddle? you must be 'in' sane.
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4:23 a.m., thursday, july 17 - i am shaken awake by a sex dream featuring me and a very large black woman. aside from being woken by an actual partner, it is the most incredibly erotic awakening i have ever experienced. my heart is racing and i'm out of breath and my whole body is vibrating on some wonderful otherworldly frequency. i lay there a full ten minutes in post pseudo-coital bliss, trying to turn down the volume on my senses and recover. i am completely stunned by the whole thing and trying to figure out what the hell happened and why. i rarely dream to begin with, which means sensual dreams comprise an unusually small portion of my cache (though my daydream hard drive is at capacity). i have also never fantasized about having maritals with the super-obese, but in this dream, i was having an incredibly good time. and i don't know if this has anything to do with anything, but the woman i was with bore a striking resemblance to aunt jemima. really. much as i've read about dream analysis, i have never come across any explanation of having sex - raw, incredible, passionate sex - with food icons. could anyone ever go back to sleep after that? this one is going to be on my mind for a while.
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onset insomnia - characterized by difficulty falling asleep, with increased sleep latency. frequently related to anxiety disorders.
middle insomnia - refers to difficulty maintaining sleep, with frequent waking during the nite. may be associated with pain or medical illness.
terminal insomnia - often referenced as early morning waking. frequently associated with major depression.
sample: holy s@#t, you have terminal insomnia! good luck, and don't forget the prozac.
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4:18 a.m., wednesday, july 23 - again i am jolted awake, and again my roommate's absence gives me license to live out my latest overwhelming impulse; the 1992 kris kross pop hit 'jump'. for some reason my brain has decided that listening to this song is an absolute priority. i am trampled into submission until i have to get up, scroll thru itunes, and play the actual song as loud as i can in my conservative gated community at such an early hour. once it's over, i get in the shower, and mentally play the tune as i dry off. as the steam evaporates and the condensation begins to clear from the mirror, i look at the fat faced guy with the short hair staring back at me, confused as ever about this strange new affliction. and then i play the song again.
